Dancing around Unisex Bathrooms

You meet the most interesting people and experience the oddest things while waiting in line for a unisex bathroom. Take the other night for instance. When the band took its first break I decided to take that opportunity to use the restroom, which was just down the steps from the stage. The new bass player for the band was in line ahead of me and we struck up a conversation about how this was his first time playing with them and me telling him that they really pack the dance floor. We had never seen it that tight before. After about 5 minutes I realized how long it had been since the previous person entered the restroom and decided that I didn’t want to be around to see (or smell) what may have been taking them so long so returned to my seat. Just before the band came back I decided to give it another try. This time I stood in line behind a tall fella who almost right away asked what I thought of smoking. “Smoking what,” I wondered? “Cigarettes,” he explained. “The smoke.” I agreed that I was no longer used to it but that the casino seemed to do a pretty good job of circulating the air. He then proceeded to tell me that he had used this particular bathroom before and that the door doesn’t lock. “I thought that too, at first, but it does lock. You just have to kinda jiggle it.” He asked me to show him when it was his turn. I said, “I don’t know you from Adam. So … no, but I’ll guard the door for you from the outside.” That’s exactly what I did. Arms crossed, legs hip width apart, chest all puffed up. I looked e-x-a-c-t-l-y like a security guard except in a short lacy skirt, stilettos, lipstick, and an off-the-shoulder cotton blouse. Apparently this did not impress the elderly Chinese man wielding what appeared to be a recently emptied re-usable salad container because he tried to get past me and into the room. I spread my arms across the door, stood a little taller, widened my stance and said in as forceful a voice as I could muster, “There’s someone in there!” When not-Adam exited the bathroom I explained that I had saved him from an encounter with Tupperware and he had to do the same for me so I wouldn’t have to struggle with the lock. It really was kinda tricky, especially if you’re hurriedly trying to keep a China-man at bay.  As I was exiting the bathroom said China-man couldn’t even wait his turn or for me to completely vacate the doorway before barging into the room. He must have really, really needed to wash that dirty Tupperware.